It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
