im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
