i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Randomize
