Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Randomize
