What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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