we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Randomize
