I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
