The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Randomize
