I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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