I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
