I think my fart just growled at me.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I will pee on everything he values.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Randomize
