this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Randomize
