it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I AM VODKA MAN
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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