I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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