Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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