at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
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