Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
