I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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