i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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