Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
