My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
