Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
