i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
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