some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
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