yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
