Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Randomize
