You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Randomize
