dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
