Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Randomize
