its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Randomize
