He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Randomize
