Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Randomize
