I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
