i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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