you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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