There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
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