I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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