He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
