: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Randomize
