you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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