well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
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