are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Randomize
