It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Randomize
