Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Randomize
