You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
