just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Randomize
