I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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