youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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