dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
and i looked up. we had an audience...
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
