Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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