All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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