Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
